Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Toxic People...

Call me crazy, paranoid or even insane but one thing I know for certain it that there are just some people on this earth who are toxic. Let me clarify a little more on the term I use 'Toxic People'.

These are not people with diseases or handicaps and it is not people who are physically impaired or mangled. It has nothing to do with race, sexual orientation or even nationality.

It is people who are constantly making trouble for others, ie; lies/gossip/drama and the list goes on, on and on, you know the ones I'm talking about. Bet you know at least one right off the top of your head, don't you?

They can be a loved one or a friend, maybe even a professor, teacher or other daily influence in your life. Any way it goes these people and their tactics/ways bring us down. Even the most upbeat, cheerful and least depressed person you know can be affected by Toxic People.

There are two main types of Toxic People, 1st is the ones who are constant liars, control freaks, perfectionists and drama kings & queens. 2nd are those who go beyond the little white lies and attempts to control your life, these are the worst kind of toxic because they not only lie to you but to others about you, they want to control and sometimes destroy every aspect of your life, some may even be violent in their attempts, others may threaten and keep you in constant turmoil. Either way these people have a greater impact on our day to day lives more then we care to admit.

Now we need to break them up into groups;

Group 1: These are the people you love dearly and no matter what their faults or how much trouble they cause you cannot put them out of your life completely. This might include a parent, brother, sister, best friend, etc.

Group 2: These are the people who you love but who no matter what you do it is never good enough for them, aside from being toxic they are also users who only come calling when they need or want something from you. This too can be a loved one, parent, brother, sister, friend.

The key here is to evaluate the Toxic person in your life, decide if this is a person you can walk away from or is it a person you can teach yourself to lesson the blows of their toxic ways.

For my family there are a circus full of these toxic people. Some worse then others but none the less they are there and believe me the worst of them like to raise hell.

For me personally my experiences have went from my second husband who was not only toxic, but physically/mentally abusive, my father as much as I love him I have had to discipline myself to not let his toxic ways affect me anymore then they have all these years. I have learned to accept he will not change but also I have learned how he can still be in my life without harming me mentally any further then he already has in the past.

For me and my hubby his parents & siblings are WAY beyond your typical toxic people. They go above and beyond to try to break us up, they believe what they are doing is for the better. Their lives are riddled with lies, gossip and constant drama. Even when it doesn't include us there is always something going on that shouldn't be connected to them. For these toxic people we have, well mostly my hubby has decided to shut them out completely after several years of the drama/lies and uncountable number of tries to make things right with them.

For me I have learned to better assess people for who they really are and not for what I want them to be. This helps on many levels because besides being able to sus out the toxic people I have also been able to see the inner qualities some people have but are afraid to share with others.

In all what I would like to see in this world, is peace of mind. I know peace on earth is more of a pipe dream then a reality but if I can produce a peaceful environment for my family by better choosing those people who are a part of it, or how we allow them to be a part of it, then I have went farther then most, and accomplished something that will hopefully become a family tradition passed down to ensure some degree of peace in the home.

Hope you all have a wonderful Hump Day!
Peace be with you...


  1. toxic people.. no explanation required. i know them... and little by little i'm removing them.... great post!

  2. Thank you Shadow! I'm very happy to hear you are taking a stand and removing those who are toxic from your life...Keep up the great work and if you ever need someone to talk to who knows what your dealing with just hit me up @

    Peace be with you!